The number of stay-at-home dads in America has nearly dou...

The number of stay-at-home dads in America has nearly doubled in 30 years. Here's what's behind the 'caregiving over bre Emma Caplan-Fisher Mon, November 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM GMT+8 4 min read

The face of the average stay-at-home parent has been morphing since the ’90s, and may be likelier to sport facial hair and tell Dad jokes.

According to the Pew Research Center, the number of stay-at-home dads has nearly doubled in the past 30 years. In 1989, one in 10 stay-at-home parents was a father. Now it’s nearly one in five.

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While moms still represent the majority of stay-at-home parents, economic necessity and evolving gender roles are behind a growing number of dads looking after kids full-time.

Caregiving over breadwinning

In the past, most men rarely opted to stay at home unless they were ill or unemployed.

But that mindset is shifting. Caregiving rather than breadwinning is motivating men to stay home.

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For example, in 1989, just 4% of stay-at-home dads admitted they chose to stay home in order to care for their family or household. Now 23% of stay-at-home dads say that’s their main motivation (1).

One major reason behind the shift? Women’s growing education and earning power. Today, more households decide who can stay home based on who’s earning more — regardless of gender.

Plus it’s easier for both mothers and fathers to work from home as employers offer more flexible work-from-home arrangements, meaning men work from home and balance that with childcare and household duties.

There is an economic shift at play as well as a cultural one. Having one parent stay at home is an increasingly practical decision in the face of high child care costs and stagnant wages (2).

Breaking with tradition to build a secure future

Letting go of rigid gender roles in household work can actually strengthen financial stability.

Allowing whichever parent has the higher income or better benefits to focus on work while the other prioritizes caregiving means a couple can maximize their savings, retirement contributions and emergency fund.

Assuming a mother should stay at home can lead to the so-called “mother penalty,” in which women who drop out of the workforce to look after young children experience long-term employment disadvantages including lower wages and reduced career opportunities.

According to the Center for American Progress, a parent loses more than three times their annual salary for every year they drop out of the workforce (3). So a family’s long-term security is compromised every time a mother who is the higher earner leaves a well-paying job.

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Households where the primary earner also has strong benefits 401(k) match, defined-benefit pension and healthcare insurance are better positioned to save for the future.

Could you be a stay-at-home dad?

If you’re weighing whether you or your partner should stay home, here are key factors worth comparing:

Job income and benefits. Compare your salaries, employer retirement match, health insurance and potential career growth. If one partner dominates in benefits, it might make sense for the other to stay home.

Industry stability and growth potential. If one job is in a volatile sector (like retail or hospitality) and the other is in a stable, high-benefit environment (like tech or unionized manufacturing), prioritizing the stable job can preserve financial flexibility.

Remote-work flexibility and caregiving lifestyle. The pandemic proved that remote work isn’t just a perk; for many households, it’s pivotal. A parent who can work from home may manage caregiving and income simultaneously — a hybrid scenario worth considering.

Long-term career and retirement implications. If one partner leaves the workforce for 5–10 years, what happens to their retirement savings? Conversely, staying in a marginally paying job with few benefits may offer less upside than stepping into a caregiving role.

Personal satisfaction and family vision. Beyond financial math, ask: Who wants to stay home? Who sees meaning in caregiving? Role changes are sometimes practical, but also need buy-in. If caregiving becomes a source of regret or resentment, that can undermine the financial benefits.